Happy Easter Monday!
This may mean another day of chocolate or something more personal depending on your beliefs or faith. Whatever it means to you, enjoy your day:)
With death, there are always opportunities for birthing something new. The Wakatipu women’s support group is a perfect example of this. Last week we lost a beautiful woman in our community and I got to see the amount of love and support she had all around her. Sometimes the people with the biggest smiles and the most giving of hearts are dealing with so much pain.
I see this daily in the work I do supporting others. Firstly you must FILL YOUR OWN CUP before yours can overflow into others or it will leave you feeling empty, exhausted, and resentful.
Secondly, you must know WHAT it is that you need to feel supported by yourself and by others. It’s hard to ask for help if you don’t know what it is that you need.
And lastly, ASK. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. That applies to anything in life but it is the fear of rejection that we pause and think twice about making a phone call or stopping to tell someone what we are really feeling. We keep pushing through, keeping busy, ignoring what is staring us in the face. We ignore our emotions and store them in parts of ourselves that can remain hidden for as long as we want to deny them the opportunity to be seen, validated, owned, and expressed.
Support for myself looks like nourishing food and yes sometimes that means a bag of chips and chocolate. It looks like space, long walks in the rain or in the sun. It means journalling, gardening, practicing gratitude, floats, saunas, swims, hot Epsom salt baths, tapping, and lots of herbal teas. It means saying no when my cup is empty. From others I need them to give me the space. Check-in but down crowd me. Let me know you’re there but I don’t necessarily want to see you. It means listening and not waiting for your turn to reply with your own issues or something that’s more important than what I’m going through. It’s asking how I’m doing weeks down the track so I know that you genuinely care. It’s seeing a therapist/Coach if I’m still processing recent events and I can’t see it from a perspective that allows me to grow and evolve.
Learning to support yourself will be one of the biggest gifts of empowerment and help you to heal some of your oldest wounds. Write this list and put it somewhere so when you need yourself the most, it’s a gentle reminder of what works best for you. Be open to others about what you need, again write this list somewhere that you can share when times are tough.
ASK these questions:
What do I need to support myself?
What do I need from others?
What brings me joy?