I have written about disappointment before. It is something I feel deeply and often. In myself, in others, and in experiences.
I watched the Rugby World Cup final like many others on Sunday and observed the disappointment on the All Black’s faces and body language. I saw the tears in the eyes of the All Blacks players as they did their best to hold in their emotions and keep it together. I watched their stoicism to maintain their manly persona and not appear weak. Whilst they may have lost the World Cup on the scoreboard, they won with their dedication, determination, and perseverance to continue with a man down. A person or team’s strength is not always about winning every game. It’s the daily triumphs and the small wins on a consistent basis.
Whilst competing at the South Island Masters recently was not on the world stage, a win for me was being able to compete after a year of repetitive injuries. Winning was leaving without injury. Winning was having our daughter watch her Mum compete after a year of 3 bereavements. The medals, accolations, and titles do not define who we are. Materialistic awards can not replace a feeling inside of us of success and accomplishment. Winning is giving it everything you have and knowing there is nothing left to give. The triumphs in life are not always for 1st place. It’s setting a goal and achieving it, whatever that looks like for you.
The South African captain saw his win for more than a trophy and medal. He acknowledged what the win can do for the people of his country and the next generation. Having visited South Africa I know firsthand the privilege I have had growing up in Aotearoa. He spoke of the win much greater than the game, and I could feel the passion and pride in his voice.
For the Kiwi captain. My heart sat with his. It’s times like these when we need to rally around those who will hurt the most from a loss. The disappointment that he will feel for weeks beyond the final may take him to some unforgiving places. This is when we are reminded that one moment in your career does not define it. Sam Cane is a man of great strength and leadership and now has the opportunity to show men, women, and children what you do when you face hard times, mentally, physically, and spiritually. He can set an example for gaining support to process this event and lean on his team, family, rugby whanau, and country. No one ever needs to do it all on their own.
I’m not necessarily a rugby fan but the sport grabs us as a nation and now we have the opportunity to look at how we celebrate our wins, but more importantly how we lift each other up and not the reverse.
Be passionate, be proud, and have a heart for others without judgment. Kindness and compassion are worth their weight in gold.