So what were the results? This is as per my notes that I requested, yes you are entitled to these!
Clinical – Small lump medial (closest to the centre of your chest) left breast.
Report – A focused ultrasound of the left medial breast was performed. The palpable (able to be touched or felt) abnormality (not normal) is a collection of tiny hypoechoic masses, possibly tiny cysts (small lumps, cause unknown). The patient declined mammography (didn’t decline, I chose thermography and ultrasound over a mammogram first as that is my right and choice to do so).
Comment – Palpable abnormality possibly due to small microcysts.I understand from the patient that the lump has decreased
considerably in size over the last two weeks.
Clinical review by a breast surgeon is recommended with a view to consideration of biopsy.
So knowing what I knew from this experience and that I had lumps/bumps something in my breast, actually both breasts but they only checked one, I thought, I have a choice here. I received a letter from Invercargill hospital saying that I would receive an appointment in the next 8 weeks and then COVID hit. That was in February. I received my appointment in September. Yes, your maths is right, that’s 7 months later. My appointment is now scheduled for the 8th of October.
So here is what I did. I would be lying if there was not some fear that came up after this appointment. I think that’s only natural, but I didn’t give in to it. Instead, I thought well if it’s nothing or not life-threatening, then all good. Maybe there are some emotional aspects that I can look into and see if anything comes up? On the other hand, If it is something what can I do? What would I do if they had have diagnosed me right then and there?
Maybe this is something you may have thought about if you have ever watched someone suffer or die of cancer or something similar or if you have worked in any form of the medical profession. So I decided that I needed to do things for me to be happy. To nurture me and take care of my mind, body and spirit. Eat well, meditate, exercise, journal. I know stress/anxiety feeds disease/illness so I needed to train my body to be as stress-free as possible except when necessary.
I worked through memories that arose around my heart being hurt and putting up walls as well as any ill thoughts about my breasts that you will read in another post. The lumps have a purpose as does any injury or disease. They are there to tell us something. Sometimes it’s a wake-up call. For me, this was another part of my healing journey to open up my heart to give and receive more love after the many times that it had experienced pain, grief, loss, trauma and heartache. Every time, guarding it more and more so as not to feel as much the next time around. As women, we have taken on far more responsibility than ever before. No longer is the role of Mother and housewife accepted as a meaningful profession by the general public. Instead, you need to do both those roles and work full time and have very little time for yourself to do the things you love, find meaningful connections and know who you are. My hat goes off to any parent who finds fulfilment of full-time parenting and managing the home. You are my heroes.
We can all take better care of ourselves every day…..fact. This we have control over. We have control over our thoughts, our beliefs, what we consider important and how much power we give away to others.