Thank you for everyone’s kind words and support this past week. I feel the love ❤️ and I hope this gives you permission to be open about your feelings and what it is you need to feel supported by yourself and others during challenging times.
I didn’t write the previous post to get sympathy, I wrote because that’s what I love to do. I write because that’s the way for me to process and express my emotions.
I write because although I am in the field of wellbeing, life still happens. I have losses just like any other person and I need time to grieve too.
I also write as we don’t talk about death enough. We sweep it under the carpet and move on in a time-appropriate way determined in a workplace by a bereavement leave policy of 3 to 10 days as a guideline for processing your emotions.
I grieved for my cat many years ago the same way I would have most humans. The connection we had was intense. The love we shared was deeper than most people because I could love her openly and hole heartedly. I didn’t hold back. There were no barriers.
There is no bereavement leave for pets so I spent days behind a desk holding back the tears with timely escapes to the bathroom where I could release the buildup of the emotions I held in. Fear of being judged for my loss.
As a society, we judge how long you should grieve for and for whom when it’s about the connection. Some of my friends are my family and I would grieve for them like I would my own blood, yet that’s not perceived as a greater loss than that of a family member. There is judgment when there should be none.
I have spent the past week walking, lying in the sun, and going at a snail’s pace. No urgency, doing the bare minimum and having moments of outbreaks of loud singing and crazy dancing….even in the aisles of the warehouse! I’m so in my own little bubble right now and that’s where I feel safe and supported.
Talking to my Mum helps both of us as she begins to process her new title of the matriarch of the family and the loss of her Mum who brought her into this world. She is still trying to get her head around the belief that she was going to live to 100 although that’s not what she wanted. Guess she wasn’t fussed by a letter from the King:)
We suck at dealing with and talking about death as a society, seeing it as taboo or dirty when in fact it’s one of the things that you can guarantee in life….we will all die. I recognize and observe what unprocessed grief looks like and the damage it can do. Not talking about it hurts people more than talking about it. I get it, not everyone is comfortable with this subject but there are plenty of people like me who are. I have seen the transformation in a person and their life after holding on to the grief for 20-plus years. Too young to understand what it was they were feeling and having no one to talk to about synchronicities, weird shit, and the deep-rooted pain that grief can cause.
The basis of humanity is connected. We don’t have to grieve alone, although that’s how I like to do most of mine. I also know when I need cuddles, a friend to talk to, or someone to just sit with me and support my tears purely by their presence.
With death in any form, there is a new beginning, and life should be celebrated not mourned. Without death, we can’t make room for the creations that are wanting to break free from their soil that has been germinating and waiting patiently for the right time and space to grow.
I choose to look for blessings. Not a life lost but a connection of a different kind and another person walking beside me on my journey.
Hold on Grandma, I’m going to take you for a wild ride❤️