The following article saddens me as it highlights the major issue our youth are facing in Aotearoa. Spirit of Adventure recruitment stunted by youth anxiety (1news.co.nz)
The Spirit of New Zealand was a place where I thrived and it uncovered strengths that I did not know I had. It also taught me the resilience of others when I sailed with a group of disabled voyagers. They did not complain or make excuses for the things they couldn’t do, but instead chose opportunities over obstacles and focused on skills they could perform. No victim mentality or woe-is-me attitude for the hand they had been dealt, but rather an appreciation for life and for people who look past their labels.
One of my fondest memories was my buddy who had been blind since birth. An amazing young woman who aspired to be a lawyer. She could read a room through her other senses and taught me how a blind person sees. At 6 am as with any other trainee, we would jump into the ocean together and swim around the boat. Her smile and laughter drowned out the cold. No complaints, just joy in the moment. How could I not feel the same? She showed me how she could tell which clothes were which and how to lead a person over a boat without bumping into things.
I have many experiences with the Spirit of New Zealand. From being a trainee to volunteer crew. I thrived on the opportunity to be away from my family for 10 days. Was I scared, yes. But it is when we are vulnerable that we experience the most growth. Now teenagers can’t cope with being away from their screens as their devices have become their safety blanket, and they feel lost without it.
You don’t need to have experienced trauma to build resilience. Resilience comes from everyday disappointments. It comes from feeling those uncomfortable emotions long enough for them to be recognised and fully felt the same way we do with happiness, joy, and excitement. Resilience comes from trying and not winning, not making the team, or not getting exactly what you want. Resilience comes from grief. The loss of people, places, friendships, and pets. Resilience comes from space and not filling every spare moment with scrolling. Resilience comes from being bored. It is up to us as parents to build our children’s resilience, independence and our own.
Those who succeed have failed the most. It’s how we look and perceive failure that builds resilience. The more we fail, the more uncomfortable the emotions. The more we fail, the more vulnerable we have to be. Teaching our children and ourselves that failure is a necessity for success, we will build resilience little by little so that when the big stuff comes along in life, it doesn’t feel like a mountain but rather a hill. We do that by practicing what we preach. Try new things as uncomfortable as they may feel. Share your disappointments. Be open with your feelings and your processing of them. Rarely does laughter hide or hold itself back or in. Tears surface because they want to be released. Anger surfaces because it no longer wants to be contained within you. Disappointment can bring clarity to what is in alignment with and for you.
There are amazing programs out there such as MIOMO.
MIOMO has been setting young adults up for independence for over 10 years. Through this inspiring four-day, secondary school and university holiday program, young adults will be equipped to become responsible contributors to society. This is done by inspiring leaders and teaching modules in small-group settings that include: Time, Space and Energy; Independence; Achieving Goals; Healthy Relationships, and more. MIOMO NEW ZEALAND- Miomo – Making It On My Own
Technology is making life easier for everyone. What it can’t do is process your emotions for you and build your resilience. That comes from within and a desire to get to know yourself. Life will always have challenges, that is guaranteed. Our challenges don’t need to define us or keep us stagnant. Let’s spend as much time looking within as we do without and teach the next generations to do the same.
For more information about the Spirit of Adventure programs, click here: Spirit of Adventure