When I signed up to walk the Mototapu Marathon I didn’t think I would be challenged in more ways than one. This is by far one of the hardest things I have ever done. It challenged my body physically and my mind mentally. I thought it would be a unique opportunity to combine my love for walking with the chance to see some amazing scenery through the backcountry. Whilst it was both of these things, the many conversations I had with myself in my mind uncovered a depth of reserve I could tap into, when every part of me said no.
We all have different reasons for signing up for events such as these. Mine was never about a time, it was only ever to finish. I wasn’t comparing myself to anyone else. I have full respect for the athletes who enter to compete, but that’s just not me anymore. I have found satisfaction in participation. The joys of being a part of something. The people you get to meet along the way and the volunteers who give their time to support you on your journey. Everyone there was a part of something. The medal at the end wasn’t as meaningful as the man who placed it around my neck. His words and the kindness he showed me at the end were just what I needed when I was in a world of pain and my mind wasn’t quite making contact with what was coming out of my mouth.
This experience was so reflective of life. We all do things for different reasons. We are all a part of other’s lives and other people’s lives are a part of ours. People can make a difference in your experience and vice versa through kindness, intention, and compassion. We don’t get through life on our own. The people who helped fill my camelback with electrolytes were an important part of the next leg of the walk. Their words and encouragement were the little boosts I needed and looked forward to at the next aid station.
I guess what I’m getting at is that you don’t have to compete to be a part of something. Everyone’s role on the day was important and you could have been the difference in someone’s experience. It’s not whether you finish, it’s the fact that you are brave enough to participate…..that’s the win, that’s what should be celebrated.
I had one woman thank me for saying hello as I passed her and asked her how she was doing. I thought nothing of it, it was something I just did without thinking, to her it meant something.
People have asked if I will do another one from the minute I finish. A bit like childbirth when I was asked if I would have another child when I hadn’t yet experienced or processed the first. I want to be present and celebrate the moment. Take it all in without looking at what is next. I’m still processing the event a week on and I may feel differently later than I do today. Right now my focus is still on recovery. Giving myself what it is I need and being patient with my body. It’s ok to take your time. Like processing emotions, we are all different and we will all do it at our own pace and see it from a perspective that is uniquely our own.